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THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANNY

The computer swallowed granny.
Yes, honestly its true.
She pressed ‘control’ and ‘enter’
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I’ve searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I’ve even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

Author Unknown

There are some nights I sleep better than others. Never quite the sleep of the innocent, but at least not the sleeplessness of the truly wicked. Last night, fell somewhere in between and I am surprised at how wide awake and ready for the day I am this morning. I went to bed early and then awoke to a snoring husband. I did all the wifely things like rubbing his back, rolling him to his side, and gently…or not so gently nudging him with my foot. After turning, tossing, and trying to sleep with a pillow over my head, I gave up and went across the hall to my office, put the air mattress down on the floor, and covered myself with a nearby afghan. Annie, who is and always has been my shadow and the most devoted Yorkie in the world, climbed out of her little bed in our bedroom and came to sleep with me in the office. Sweet, right? Yes, except that Annie also snores. Bob snores in a deep bass snore while Annie seems to whistle in a Soprano tone. So much for sleeping. I was wide awake and laughing at my dilemma. Figuring all was a loss cause, Annie and I trudged back to the bedroom careful not to wake Bob, who by this time was no longer snoring. Thank God. I fell immediately to sleep only to dream that I was extremely pregnant. Ready to pop (Really I must quit reading Mommy blogs.) I was walking down a road heading home. I was not only pregnant but had a toddler holding my hand. (Memories I suppose of when I had John and was expecting Bill. My boys are 16 months apart.) Anyway, I arrive at this absolute hovel and it is home. At that point Bob comes along in a battered old truck and pulls into the yard. What makes it all so funniy is that in this dream, Bob and I are present ages both silver-haired and a little time worn. I head over to the truck window and ask him in a most bequiling manner, ” Please may I stay home after this baby is born.”. He looks at me and says slowly and I swear in a very hillbilly manner, “Shucks, I would think a woman as bright as you would want to work.” End of dream. So what should I think? Anyone out there good at interpreting dreams? Let me hear from you.

This came to Bob in one of his emails. Since I am a fan of George Carlin and love his humorous political satire, I thought I would share his wisdom with everyone.

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the
stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington And they tracked her
calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal
aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a
cow.

CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we
just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s
worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse?
You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery”
and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

And Last but not least…..

George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart ..
“Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she’s behind bars. O.J. Simpson and
Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take
the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard,
and haul her ass off to jail.”

Dawn sent me some photos of Jade in the yellow dress that I sent to her recently. This is my favorite. I played around with it in “Picture It” yesterday. It was a fun challenge and it made me realize blogging has taken over memory book making for me and in some ways, I miss creating the fun pages. I am going to work on a way to combine both in more creative ways for the blog.

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I started my gardening Friday. I put down a ton of amend and a ton of patio gardening soil into the small beds in the backyard next to the house. Wal-Mart had some fertilizer and daisy seeds in a 2 quart container so I finished off by putting the whole thing in those two little areas. I suppose it is over-kill but what the heck. I do not have my daughter, Dawn’s green thumb. Next year, I am sending her a plane ticket so she can come be my garden consultant. (more…)