I cannot stop watching television. I see the faces so full of fear. I watch an elderly couple in the back of a pick-up truck, the woman clutching and consoling her small dog. That could be Bob and me and that little bundle of fur, our Annie. I see small children waiting in long lines to get into some kind of shelter. Their eyes haunt me. I fear for them. I think about my grand-daughter safe in Idaho and about to begin kindergarten and tears come to my eyes. It could be her. The why questions are on my lips. Why did this happen….why God, why! and the silence is deafening. There will be no answer. Yes,natural disasters happen. Today, I will do what I can. I will write a check and get it off to Salvation Army. I will hold my family and pets closer and I will pray for all those so stricken and paralyzed by Katrina.

I gave myself the old “Stay off Ebay” lecture after my last red flash glass exploration where I purchased more than I should have, but about a week ago, I found myself back online just looking. Well, that is what I told myself until I found red glass lamps similar to the pair I once saw in a local antique store and did not buy. This time, I wasn’t going to let the opportunity to own them slip by. So after carefully reading the description, I realized they were being sold individually and not as a pair. This in spite of the fact, they were together in the ad’s picture. I placed a substantial bid on both lamps.

I wasn’t there at the end of the bidding period and as luck would have it, I won one and not the other. What good is one of a pair? I was truly bummed out. However, so was the other buyer who had actually believed she was getting a pair because she looked at the photo and didn’t carefully read the description which plainly said lamp and not lamps. To make a long story short, the seller offered to take it back from her, notified me and graciously offered the lamp to me at the same price I paid for the mate. The lamps arrived today and I have tried to find the right place to display them.

I finally settled on the hall table. Bob told me the entry to the house now looks like a monastery. I have to admit there is a tabernacle kind of feeling when first viewing the table and lamps. Who cares? We can play nun and monk and chase each other around. So I guess the moral of this story is, “All’s well that ends well.” I have the lamps. I love them and who cares if the randy Reverend Burke chases the pious Sister Maria (from the Convent of the Eternally Hopeful) around the Monastery’s Reception Room and …….well the rest is better left unsaid. For more about my red glass collection read Ruby Red Glass Intrique.

My cleaning woman who comes twice a month had to come yesterday afternoon because she was catching up on her clients after a two week vacation. This was all fine, but I hate to be hanging around when she cleans, so I went to the movies by myself. Bob didn’t want to go and prefers to stay in his office and out of Beth’s way. Well, I saw the trashiest comedy. It was “The 40 Year Old Virgin” starring Steve Carell. I do not consider myself a prude, but the language alone was over the edge, not to mention the crude and vulgar scenes. Since I was alone, I could have walked out at any point, but I kept thinking, its hot out there. I don’t want to go home early and I am not in the mood to shop. I stayed through the whole dragged out two hours of raunchy tastelessness. When I told a friend it was the stupidest thing since “Dumb and Dumber”. She said, “Oh, I loved that one.” Now I wonder if I am out of step with the rest of the movie goers.

Bob and I watched the BRAC committee public proceedings addressing the DOD recommended plans for our Nations Military establishments over the next 20 years. These changes as confirmed are expected to bring more than 1500 personnel and their families to the Naval Weapons Center here at China Lake. It was scary though because early on following the normal routine of staff reiterating their disagreement with DOD and the normal motion introduction it very definitely appeared the DOD proposal for China Lake was destined to be aborted. However, the Chairman postured that maybe we should have put China Lake on the closure list because by all accounts it seems so few folks would be willing to relocate to the California Hi-Desert. Subsequently, after his remarks and his call for the prearranged motion to amend the DOD planned action a remarkable reaction took place. The motion was made but was not quickly seconded and then was equally quickly decreed as not passed. Thereafter the voting on concurring with the DOD planned action passed with six yes, one nay votes and two members recusing…..Just enough to sneak by.
What does this mean for our small town? It will mean more homes, businesses, and a growth in our economy. It means we will need to build at least one new elementary school and perhaps a new high school. I understand the moves from other bases will be gradual and can take as long as six years to complete so this will not happen overnight. However, it looks like Indian Wells Valley is about to launch itself into a dynamic and exciting adventure of expansion.

Customer: I’m trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you’ve got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah….
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven’t got a computer. It’s in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen…..
Tech support! : Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

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Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be t he problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

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And last but not least:….

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!