Bob and I will be back in 8 days so please visit then to hear about our eight day cruise on the Norwegian Star. We will be celebrating our 6th anniversary and Bob’s 82nd birthday. I plan to take lots of photos and write about our adventures.

How difficult to believe a year has gone by since the twins were born. It is awesome to look back on all the joy that they have brought our family in 12 short months. What a miracle of amazing joy to watch them grow healthier and happier day by day. How fun to celebrate each of their first year milestones from that first smile, first tooth, first attempt to roll over, first crawl, and finally first steps and first words.

So happiest of birthdays, Eric and Danica. And a special hug and kiss for my daughter, Kristi, for making me a Nana and giving me this year of tiny miracles.

Click here for three photos of the celebrating grandkids!

While wandering through the web to find the AARP’s article Dead on Delivery, which higllights the inefficiency of 1-800 FLOWERS, I found myself at Real Florists Blog by Flower Chat reading a quote about daisies that looked familiar. Sure enough along with a reference to the AARP’s article, it was a reference to my 1-800 Flowers be Damned post. It was an unusual moment of blogger shock and I called Bob in from his office to show him.

I also found this interesting link to Internet Retailer . According to the article Martha Stewart is about to join 1-800-Flowers to bring us all the best of two worlds. In my mind this is a little like sleeping with the enemey on Martha’s part so I sent off the following e-mail to her office by way of Elizabeth Estroff of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

Dear Ms. Estroff,

I have always found the quality of your products to be exemplary. However, I understand you are about to team up with 1-800-Flowers in the Spring of 2008 to create an exclusive new co-branded floral plant and gift basket program.

Before you work with this company, I hope that you will review their customar service policies and the many complaints filed with Consumer Affairs, the recent article Dead on Delivery from AARP, Flower Detectives, and my own posts on Silverfox-Whispers 1-800 Flowers Be Damned followed by 1-800-Flowers Update.

Thank you,

Maria ______________

I meant it when I told the second or third person that I talked to at 1-800-FLOWERS that I was retired and had all the time in the world to follow up my complaints. My certified mail to the President and CEO arrived at corporate headquarters because I received the signed green cards in the mail today.

I want to thank everyone for their suggestions, support, and understanding of my problematic dealings with 1-800-Flowers and especially to Kenju for her post that directed many of you to my site.

Yesterday, I received the following letter:

Dear—————
At 1-800 FLOWERS.COM we know how important it is for every person receiving - and giving - a gift to be 100% satisfied. We’re sorry your experience with us was less than satisfactory. Please accept the enclosed Savings Pass and use it toward a future purchase at 1-800-FLOWERS.COM
Redeeming your Savings Pass is easy. Just call 1-800 FLOWERS or vist www.1800flowers.com any day, any time. Call and mention the serial number on the bottom of your Savings Pass to take advantage of your savings. And if you are redeeming online, simply enter your serial number during checkout.
Thank you!
Julie Kaufman
Director of Customer Service

Well, Ms. Kaufman, my mother once told me fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice shame on me. I have some ideas of what to do with your Savings Pass, but I will leave those to your imagination.

Meanwhile, if there is someone out in Blogland that wants my pass and is fool enough to take a chance on this unreliable company be my guest. The amount off of the next order that is promised to me is thirteen dollars. The Serial number is P1Z4-1971D-5633 and the directions are above in Ms. Kaufman’s so sincere (and I say that lightly) form letter.

Needless to say, I have yet to have my request to speak with someone in management acknowledged. I am also still waiting to hear from the CEO and President. My letters to them were sent certified mail. The good news however, is that the melody from the tinny classical music played every time I was put on hold, is no longer revolving in my head.

I have dealt with incompetence in my life, but never to the degree that I have encountered with 1-800 Flowers. I would sooner bury my own mother with daisies from the back yard than have to deal with this company again.

My eight year old granddaughter was in an accident and air evacuated to a Portland Hospital. She suffered a depressed head fracture, went through emergency surgery, and spent a day and a half in ICU before being stable enough for a regular hospital room. Distraught about being hundreds of miles away in California, I did what any grandmother would do, I sent flowers. 1-800 Flowers is always talking about the ease with which one can go on line, find the right bouquet, and happily after giving all the right information, deliver flowers to the address provided in a timely manner.

The flowers were to be delivered on Oct. 16th. They were not. I tried the tracking number routine and it simply looped me back to the same page with no answer. I found a message on the copy of the bill that I had printed out. It said “To ensure you receive all your 1-800 Flowers.Com. emails regarding orders placed with us, including order and delivery confirmations please ad susserv@reply.1800flowers.com to your address book now. I immediately followed the direction. No emails except ones wanting to sell me Sweetie Day flowers came through.

Early in the evening, I found the number to call for customer service. Now you all know the routine, “Press One if you want……..press two for etc. I pressed the correct button and got another sutomated voice. I was to give my confirmation number ALL 14 OR 15 DIGITS. I did and the automated voice said sweetly, ” I do not understand”. I calmly and distinctly repeated the numbers. The second time the automated voice repeated them back and then said, “I do not understand”. By the third or fourth repeat of this ridiculous conversation with a machine, I was given a real person named Lynn.

Lynn sweetly told me the flowers hadn’t been delivered. No explanation why. It was too late to call the florist or I got the impression it was too late. Anyway, it would be delivered the next day. We ended with my saying that my granddaughter was no longer in ICU but in Room 47. Lynn assured me she would get that message to the florist. I talked with my daughter and affirmed to her that the flowers would arrive the next day.

After a sleepless night of worry about my granddaughter, the sun rose on the new day. When I called at noon to check on her condition, no flowers had been delivered. A second call was made between 2 and 3 PM. I tried to get Lynn again, but someone named Charles attested that he could help. He called the florist while I hung on and listened to the gawd-awful slaughter of a good classical piece of music. Charles came back and assured me the flowers were on the truck to be delivered. He said that they couldn’t be delivered the day before because there is no delivery to ICU.

Questions I asked him included; Why I wasn’t told that the night before by Lynn when I said the child was being moved out of ICU into room 47 that flowers could not be delivered to ICU.? ICU was clearly a part of the address. Didn’t they all play by the same rules? He didn’t know. I asked where on the 1-800 Flowers Site was there a cautionary statement about flowers not being accepted in ICU’s.? He put me on hold with the gawd-awful music and came back a few minutes later, and said there wasn’t anything on the website about not delivering to ICU. So next I asked, “When the people at 1-800 Flowers saw an address that clearly stated ICU why didn’t they email me? When the flowers were not delivered why was I not notified? He suggested I try the Track your Order System. I assured him this was a great idea however, Track Your Order was not functioning. Not once, not twice, but everytime I tried. For some reason I felt a need to assure him I was computer literate. The problem was at 1-800 Flowers not on my end of the line.

By this time, we have the flowers supposedly on a truck ready to be delivered at any time. Hours go by and I make more phone calls to my daughter. No flowers have arrived. I pick up the phone and make another call to Customer Service. Once again the automated voice and I go through the whole routine and of course she never does totally understand the confirmation number. Talk about technology at its worst. Finally with some kind of robot mentality she redirects me to a real person.

This time it is Jillian. I don’t even try to get Lynn or Charles who already know my story. I just bravely go through the whole thing again and you can tell by my voice that I am not a happy camper. Jillian listens, put me on hold (Same gawd-awful music) and called the Florist. Guess what, the flowers are on the truck. I ask if the truck is pulled by a 29 mule team. Jillian either doesn’t understand or lacks a sense of humor.

I am no longer and probably haven’t been for quite awhile, an expemplatory customer. I ask to speak to a Manager or a Department Head. I honestly am not certain what Jillian said, but she put me on hold to suffer through close to ten minutes of the gawd-awful music and then tells me there was only one Department Head and she was not available at that time. She suggested I call corporate offices, but not now because it is after business hours. I should call tomorrow. She said I would get a receptionist who would direct me to the right person. In my mind I thought, “Here goes the old run around. No way, am I going to spend time trying to find someone over in corporate who will talk to me.” I told Jillian that I want someone to call me She assured me that a Department Head would call tomorrow. Since it was after 6PM and I had not heard of a flower delivery yet, I didn’t have faith that I would receive a call the next day.

Sending flowers is supposed to be a fun thing, a way to show concern and love, not a triathlon of phone calls resulting in broken promises and inept competence. The last thing my daughter, my granddaughter, or myself needed during this crisis was the agitation caused by 1-800 Flowers. Jillian ended our conversation with “You have a wonderful evening.” I do hope she hung up before my use of the swear word, “s___!”

From now on I am following my daughter-in-laws competent way of sending flowers. She simply goes on the internets yellow pages, finds a florist near where she wants to send the flowers and call and orders them. Oh if I only been so wise! To add insult to injury, this same daughter-in-law sent me flowers on Tuesday. When I called to thank her, she said, “Mom, I am so surprised. I only ordered them two hours ago.”

Update: My beautiful granddaughter Jade is doing well. The flowers arrived, albeit nearly two days late, and my daughter said they were quite nice. Would you believe that on the backside of the lovely note that I had written was an ad for 15% off when you join the Fresh Rewards Club. Since when is it a good practice to advertise on the back of a gift card? I don’t know why I would expect more after all it is 1-800 Flowers - a number I soon hope to forget.