January 22, 2010
Doubts and Regrets
The topic for this week is Doubts and Regrets, a very hefty subject indeed. I invite you to visit the other writers in the consortium. You will find them in the right hand column of my Blog under Writers Consortium.
Ah, the joys of growing old include looking back and wondering if or if only…… but like old age where one fears the first fall, the next sign of deterioration, the next forgetful moment, time spent with doubts and regrets is not only a dangerous activity, but in many ways a total waste of the time left in which to live, laugh, and love.
Do I have doubts, of course. Do I have regrets, of course. I have lived a long life and my path has had many challenges, but over the years, I have found sanctuary from doubts and regrets in the following prayer”:
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
When regret and doubts invade my sleep, when anger rises, when I feel out of control, I quietly repeat the Serenity Prayer over and over. This prayer has a quieting effect on me and often helps me to see more clearly.
I believe that with each regret and each doubt has come a lesson learned or a challenge met. Do I always learn the lesson? Of course not. Like some of my students the lesson goes right over my head and comes back to haunt me later in life. The challenges are not always met, but I have in time, acted with courage and conviction.
There are times for which amends are needed. Do I always do this? Of course not. Courage to do so often evades me.
In this late stage of life, I am still learning to let go of regrets and doubts. I am learning to accept the things I cannot change, (often reluctantly,) courage to fight for what I know is right, and I pursue the sometimes, illusive wisdom that will lead me on my spiritual path.
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So, what if we don’t learn lessons from our doubts and regrets? Let us just resolve to get on with living the rest of our lives without doubts or regrets. Just say yes and I shall cheer you all the way from the sidelines.
January 22, 2010 @ 8:22 amRamana,
January 22, 2010 @ 8:58 amYES! and if you do the same, I will cheer you on as well.
Accepting that there are things we cannot change, certainly makes for an easier road ahead.
January 22, 2010 @ 9:21 amGrannymar,
January 22, 2010 @ 9:37 amYou are so right, but it has always been difficult for me to let go. I let those things chew away at my brain for awhile before I am convinced I can’t change them.
Maria, it sounds to me like you have the issue very squarely framed and that you have that quiet, steely determination to not let them rule. Kind of the ever present dynamic tension of life being dealt with.
January 22, 2010 @ 11:56 amSomeone wiser than I said, “A life without regrets is a life not lived.” I have lived my life and from this post, I can tell that you have, too.
January 22, 2010 @ 1:35 pmI learned too short a time ago that regret is a waste of time.
January 22, 2010 @ 9:02 pmMaria-I can so relate to “do I always, No!” You have managed to put into words, how, at times, I feel. It really is how I feel and I’m glad you put it so succinctly!
January 22, 2010 @ 9:13 pmMaria, As I spoke on the phone to Peggy, my brother’s widow, just this week I had told her not to worry about the cards she hadn’t sent, the birthdays she forgot, the duties she hadn’t done. The time had passed to right these failure and she needed to do the things that called for her attention now. I, like you Maria, haven’t always done what should have been done. Now I have so little part of my long life left that I refuse to waste it on regrets and doubts.
January 23, 2010 @ 8:47 amThe Serenity Prayer is wonderful. It helps you to stop trying to control what’s going on. Because the truth is, we can’t.
January 27, 2010 @ 12:26 am